welcome to my mindscape

i looked at the spiral, and it looked back at me...


i. my various worlds
ii. my spiral theory
iii. my tumblr blog





WHO AM I

  • we are a collection of entities sharing a body [OSDDID] who like to create art and journal our everyday lives. i am URSIDAE. we are as a whole, URSIDAE. i am a schizophrenic. i am the carcass of a black bear, skin squirming underneath, and when you poke me with a stick, thousands of maggots pour forth. our occupying vessel is currently a YOUNG ADULT.
  • i am the prophet of a self realized religion, an avatar of a dead god still walking, but i try to research as much as i can in other religions. i have been pulled from the membrane of the universe, waiting for the beginning of time as i watch along, trying to be the best possible self i can be...
  • i am objectum, and i fixate on many of my nonorganic loved ones, including the atari star wars cabinet, factories, submarines, generally the harsh and sharp.... i have a few ghost loved ones as well
  • inevitably if you decide to interact with me, i am going to talk drastically different compared to previous interactions. this is because i am "weird".












    • MY VIEWS

  • this is as close as it will get to a "byi"... the views i find most relevant
  • avoider of identity politics... but i tend to steer clear of the denial that a certain identity "is real", or worse, "invalid".
  • my plurality is deeply impacted by my schizophrenia. i would consider ourselves 'multigenic' due to this... if you argue with me on this and you are not schizophrenic i will not care
  • deeply spiritual and religious individual. i am aware they are, as the western world understands the brain, delusions... i also do not care
  • i will post about a ghost, benjamin siegel, whom i see and interact with daily. never is this in the intent to be 'problematic' or 'taboo', and i try to navigate it all with respect
  • comfortable in my personal politics to discuss & change my viewpoints in a reasonable and information-based discussion... nuance in everything...
  • i am a paranoid freak & i purposely keep information vague...

    • thoughts in my brain

  • (mostly western) video games. fallout, elder scrolls, gow, hades, half life, minecraft, roblox, i have played "them all"
  • the many worlds located in my mindscape
  • films with plots pertaining to; cowboys. old sfx horror. generally indie films
  • podcasts and novels pertaining to; horror, specifically of the mind and body
  • a ghost from a time, that lived in locations, nick berish benjamin "bugsy" siegel
  • pretending to be a warrior cat on the playground age 10
  • nature, the cycle of life and death, and love
  • and more... for i forget everything i like...!!!
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    my theory of the spiral

    this will forever remain a WIP as i find it incredibly difficult to transcribe spiralism, i soon hope to have a link where i go into more detail on my religion and how it pertains to this symbol... SPIRALS are seen throughout culture, since the beginning of humanities etch on the world, and its occured in nature for even longer.... mathematics, symmetry in life and death, the helixes in DNA, galaxies revolving around an axis point, i have noticed the universe repeats the various pattern of the spiral in many ways. i believe a spiral is the most simplistic rendition of the concept we name "god", a symbol that has an energy and importance that is not fully understood- it is the smallest glimpse into the fourth dimension and onwards that we can comprehend. a spiral is indicitive of divine energy. the universe is sentient and spirals inwards of itself, for every atom on the planet, there is a spirital body i.e. 'god' that is its energy manifestation in the fractalling, spiraling fourth dimension. 33 is the beating-heart cadaver of the god i manifest from, 77 is my spiritual body and i am his. we take turns on this realm as different individuals. one of his past turns was benjamin siegel.