welcome to my mindscape

peer into the spiral, find it staring back...



i. my various worlds
ii. my spiral theory





WHO AM I

  • we are a collection of squirming maggots, piloting the body of a great ape homo sapiens. i am URSIDAE. we are as a whole, URSIDAE.

  • i am a schizophrenic. i am the carcass of a black bear, skin squirming underneath, and when you poke me with a stick, thousands of maggots pour forth. our occupying vessel is currently a YOUNG ADULT.

  • i am the prophet of a self realized religion, the avatar of the god of rot, spirals, time, and love. i have been pulled from the working cog membrane of the universe, waiting for the beginning of time. i am a spiritualist medium, and i am in a relationship with a ghost, who acts as a moral guide and educator. i am a hippie and open minded... i live by a rule of being as genuine as i can. the ones who matter, dont mind.... the ones who mind, dont matter...

  • i am objectum, and i fixate on many of my nonorganic loved ones, including the atari star wars cabinet, factories, submarines. i am in love with those who are harsh, sharp, not made for aesthetics or have long since been forgotten.

  • inevitably if you decide to interact with me, i am going to talk differently depending on when we speak. this is because i am "weird".












  • MY VIEWS

  • this is as close as it will get to a "byi"... the views i find most relevant

  • avoider of identity politics... i keep an open heart and an open mind.... i do have opinions but i do not care to share them publically

  • deeply spiritual and religious individual...

  • i will post about a ghost/my life partner, benjamin siegel, whom i see and interact with daily. never is this meant to be problematic, i try to navigate it all with respect and i understand the uncomfortabilities one might have with it.

  • comfortable in my personal politics to discuss & change my viewpoints in a reasonable and information-based discussion... nuance in everything...

  • i am a paranoid freak & i purposely keep information vague...
  • thoughts in my brain

  • (mostly western) video games. fallout, elder scrolls, gow, hades, half life, minecraft, roblox, i have played "them all"
  • the many worlds located in my mindscape
  • films...FILMS!!! our letterboxd is ursidaez
  • russian literature
  • media pertaining to; horror, specifically of the mind and body
  • a ghost from a time, that lived in locations, benjamin siegel
  • pretending to be a warrior cat on the playground age 10
  • nature, the cycle of life and death, and love
  • my friends :)












  • my theory of the spiral

    this will forever remain a WIP as i find it incredibly difficult to transcribe spiralism, i soon hope to have a link where i go into more detail on my religion and how it pertains to this symbol... SPIRALS are seen throughout culture, since the beginning of humanities etch on the world, and its occured in nature for even longer.... mathematics, symmetry in life and death, the helixes in DNA, galaxies revolving around an axis point, i have noticed the universe repeats the various pattern of the spiral in many ways. i believe a spiral is the most simplistic rendition of the concept we name "god", a symbol that has an energy and importance that is not fully understood- it is the smallest glimpse into the fourth dimension and onwards that we can comprehend. a spiral is indicitive of divine energy. the universe is sentient and spirals inwards of itself, for every atom on the planet, there is a spirital body i.e. 'god' that is its energy manifestation in the fractalling, spiraling fourth dimension. 33 is the beating-heart cadaver of the god i manifest from, 77 is my spiritual body and i am his. we take turns on this realm as different individuals. one of his past turns was benjamin siegel.